we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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