My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
