I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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