As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
