I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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