Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
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I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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