We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
i think i just lost a toe
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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