it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
