I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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