You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
