I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
