STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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