I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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