Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize