I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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