i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
