No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
soo... how was my night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
