So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
