Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
