Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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