I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
