When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
