We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wish you could order shots online.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
