You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize