I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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