my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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