Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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