I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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