hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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