so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
