its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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