I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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