we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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