So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
