dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
