You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
