Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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