I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
