Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You are a genius and a whore.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
