There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
