Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
