I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
