whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I am one with the molecules
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
