No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
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I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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