i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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