5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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