i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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