This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
