she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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