She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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