You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We left an ass print on the piano.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
