he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
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Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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