I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
What a dumb baby whore.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
