He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
