Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
